Modern Manners: Attendance

Guest blogger Lisa Hoffman of Ceci New York shares her expert tips on how to handle the modern day R.S.V.P. Having created incredible bespoke invitations for sophisticated brides, corporate clients and A-list celebrities such as Katherine Heigl, Diddy and Billy Crystal, Hoffman reviews the proper etiquette for responding to your gracious host.

Let’s face it…somehow we always find time to procrastinate on the things we need to do in life. However, when it comes to party invitations, delaying your response can be seen as inconsiderate. No matter how large or small the event, sending in your answer as soon as possible is always the polite and best way to go.

It not only helps the organizer plan accordingly but, it avoids any hurt feelings with your host who may think you’re simply waiting for something “better” to come along. Consider it an honor to be invited and, if you have nothing already booked in your social calendar, accept the invitation with pleasure.

Of course, I understand, last minute things come up that require your social calendar to shift. However, there is a fine art to doing this right. You never want to offend your host, so here are my 4 basic rules to follow:

1. Changing an “accepts” to a “regrets” is only admissible in the event of an illness or injury, a sudden inescapable business conflict (that your boss won’t allow you to get out of in risk of losing your job) or a family emergency. If something like this should happen to you, notify your host right away.

2. Changing a “regrets” to an “accepts” is considered doable and always a possibility but, only if it will not mess up your hosts’ plans. Check with them as soon as you know to see if they can accommodate you.

3. Canceling because that “better” offer came along is never OK. It’s rude and a fool proof way to get your name dropped from everyone’s guest lists. Stick to your original plan - better things will come your way in the future.

4. Being a “no show” is unacceptable. If you said you would be there, let your hosts know they can always count on you. Anyone who receives an invitation has an important obligation to attend.

Lisa Hoffman, Founder and Creative Director of Ceci New York (22 West 23rd Street, Fifth Floor Penthouse, 212-989-0695), is a world renowned graphic artist and award winning designer of invitations. To set up an appointment, contact info@cecinewyork.com.

PHOTO CREDIT: Courtesy of Ceci New York

Modern Manners is an ongoing series with experts in the industry who share their tips on how to be a polite guest and a gracious host in today’s social scene.

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