Let’s face it…somehow we always find time to procrastinate on the things we need to do in life. However, when it comes to party invitations, delaying your response can be seen as inconsiderate. No matter how large or small the event, sending in your answer as soon as possible is always the polite and best way to go.

It not only helps the organizer plan accordingly but, it avoids any hurt feelings with your host who may think you’re simply waiting for something “better” to come along. Consider it an honor to be invited and, if you have nothing already booked in your social calendar, accept the invitation with pleasure.

Of course, I understand, last minute things come up that require your social calendar to shift. However, there is a fine art to doing this right. You never want to offend your host, so here are my 4 basic rules to follow:

1. Changing an “accepts” to a “regrets” is only admissible in the event of an illness or injury, a sudden inescapable business conflict (that your boss won’t allow you to get out of in risk of losing your job) or a family emergency. If something like this should happen to you, notify your host right away.

2. Changing a “regrets” to an “accepts” is considered doable and always a possibility but, only if it will not mess up your hosts’ plans. Check with them as soon as you know to see if they can accommodate you.

3. Canceling because that “better” offer came along is never OK. It’s rude and a fool proof way to get your name dropped from everyone’s guest lists. Stick to your original plan – better things will come your way in the future.

4. Being a “no show” is unacceptable. If you said you would be there, let your hosts know they can always count on you. Anyone who receives an invitation has an important obligation to attend.

Lisa Hoffman, Founder and Creative Director of Ceci New York (22 West 23rd Street, Fifth Floor Penthouse, 212-989-0695), is a world renowned graphic artist and award winning designer of invitations. To set up an appointment, contact info@cecinewyork.com.

PHOTO CREDIT: Courtesy of Ceci New York

Modern Manners is an ongoing series with experts in the industry who share their tips on how to be a polite guest and a gracious host in today’s social scene.

Related Post: Modern Manners: RSVP

Whether it’s a wedding, a dinner party get together or a fabulous gala, when you receive an invitation it means it’s time to R.S.V.P.

From the French phrase, “Répondez, s’il vous plaît,” R.S.V.P. simply means, “Please reply.” These four letters are signaling your host’s need to know if you’re attending or not. Your head count matters, so make sure to reply as soon as possible, ideally within a day or two of receiving an invitation.

At Ceci New York, we always create reply cards and envelopes, that match the design of the invitation, to make it easy for our client’s guests to respond on time. The wording used to solicit a response can range from classic to modern. Some of our favorites include (see examples in the photo gallery above):

Kindly reply by (enter date)

We look forward to celebrating with you!

Please join us for the following festivities.

We hope you can join us to celebrate.

Remember, when there is a reply card, make sure you include the full names of you and your guest so your host has that information for the event. But, how should you respond if there is no enclosed card?

Below is an easy guide that will ensure your name stays on the guest list!

RSVP is on invite but no separate response card included:
- send a personal handwritten response to the host to the return address on the mailer envelope.

RSVP by phone number:
- call and make sure to speak to a person – answering machines are typically unreliable.

RSVP by email:
- it’s totally acceptable these days to save time money (and a tree) to accept or decline electronically through email.

Regrets only:
- this means reply only if you cannot make it. If your host doesn’t hear from you, they are expecting you to show up.

No reply requested:
- Not typical and remember, it is always polite to let someone know your intentions!

Lisa Hoffman, Founder and Creative Director of Ceci New York (22 West 23rd Street, Fifth Floor Penthouse, 212-989-0695), is a world renowned graphic artist and award winning designer of invitations. To set up an appointment, contact info@cecinewyork.com.

PHOTO CREDIT: Courtesy of Ceci New York

Modern Manners is an ongoing series with experts in the industry who share their tips on how to be a polite guest and a gracious host in today’s social scene.